Jennifer Carroll is a 21 year old actor and writer. She first began writing for the Uxbridge Cosmos in 2007 when she had the opportunity to share her experiences as a Canadian ambassador for an international conference for women in Dubai. At the beginning of 2008, she moved to Ireland to pursue a career in theatre and film. Far From Home is her monthly account on living and working in Dublin.
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“We are such stuff as dreams are made on...” - William Shakespeare
There's a certain transparency to art. It will entertain, commiserate, investigate or observe, but look too closely at that mirror it holds up and you can see straight through it. Theatre is as substantial as the shadow it casts, and disappears faster than its likeness on an overcast day.
Shakespeare was a man who knew this all too well, interleaving hints of art's mortality throughout his greatest works. He burned hot and bright, not writing to achieve immortality but to entertain the men and women who lived in the times he lived. Shakespeare wrote to touch them with relevancy and challenge their standards. He composed for the moment he lived in. The irony lies in the staying power of his words, repeated and echoed far beyond the years he walked on earth.
We as artists challenge that milky complexion of our profession, desperate to give it weight, meaning, substance. We lay upon it great significance. If a play doesn't display the staying power of a Shakespearean drama, its triteness forfeits its relevance. So often we depend on old work, on tried and tested scripts dredged up from decades or centuries past. We paste meaning onto their veneers, desperately relating them to our current lives, masking bulky corpses with contemporary costumes.
Now, society is cyclical. The pendulum passes back and forth over the same issues and we startlingly never quite seem to learn from our mistakes. So I understand the beautiful likeness you can find in dated scripts and old stories.
But I've never been a girl to follow anyone; I've always known the path I want to walk. I've enjoyed the challenge of determining theatre's standards by my own definition, and by now I believe I have a good idea. I'm amazed by the power of new words, of unheard stories and untold characters. They breathe for the first time for our generation.
With Ireland trembling at the feet of financial and political corruption and Canada calling me home, the inevitable trip back to Ontario has led me to the conception of my very own company. I've already introduced The Organic Theatre Collective, and I'm thrilled to say my little baby is well on its way to gaining its legs. But holy smokes, is it hard work! Has anyone ever told you how involved starting a company is? Because I promise it will consume you.
With a new, living, breathing script, The OTC is moving into production for Spring 2011, and never have I been so terrified. For the first time in the last three years, I feel like an imposter, as if I have no idea what I'm doing. I just hope I can fake it long enough to get through this first production.
So here I am, building my life on dreams, on shadows and milky transparencies. The unsubstantial ground I create upon trembles with the weight of my ambitions, and I continue to hold my breath and weigh more upon it. Because sometimes, when the moment is right and the determination unbreakable, our dreams take us higher than we ever thought we'd see.
The Cosmos has been a constant source of inspiration and drive for me during the past three years. I've enjoyed relaying my adventures, banalities and musings home, and am grateful for the tolerated indulgence or two. I would love now to continue to share with all of you the adventures of a young actor, and now producer and businesswoman, pushing her way through life. If you'll indulge me just a while longer, join me and I'll share with you these dreams on which I'm building…
Jennifer has written the column Far From Home the last three years from Ireland. This is her new adventure.
